Atypical
Atypical
My sister and I just finished bingeing the Netflix show Atypical this weekend, and honestly I had a very emotional response to the show. It's powerful when a television show can pull you into the story and make you feel empathetic for its characters. Their situations become somewhat relatable. This show was relatable for me in a different way. Atypical follows the story of a family of four, with the 18-year-old son being a child with high functioning autism. That's relatable for me because I live in a family of five where the 22-year-old son, my brother, has cognitive disabilities. I felt like I could see myself and my family members in the characters on the show, though the storyline of our lives is definitely different. If you would indulge me I would like to compare the Gardners and the Meriwethers for a bit, starting with the main characters.
Sam and CJ
Sam is high functioning on the spectrum of autism. He goes to a therapist. He wears noise canceling headphones to school so that the noise levels don't bother him. He speaks bluntly about everything he sees, researches new things that interest him and has a deep love of penguins and Antarctica. The show follows Sam's desire to start dating and navigating what that looks like for someone like him. He struggles with picking up social cues, heartbreak and what is and isn't okay to do when pursuing someone of interest. "People think I don't know when they're making fun of me, but I do I just don't know why, and sometimes that makes it worse." This line really stuck with me, because people often look at people with autism and think they're strange. They may even make fun of their behavior in certain situations. It's easy for others to look and judge or maybe even laugh, but wouldn't it be easier to try being patient or understanding of the person? I feel that way sometimes with my brother and when people see him or interact with him. His name is Carlton, I'm the only one who still calls him CJ. I've never called him autistic, he has never been diagnosed, but it does take him more time to process things cognitively. He doesn't always have the exact words to express what he's thinking. He will tell you what he wants though. He loves dancing and all things Disney and wants to make his own movies one day. He also wants to get married, have two kids and take care of them. He's trying to live his life as "normal" as possible, but sometimes that's hard. He might get frustrated when what he wants to say doesn't come out as quick as he wants it to. He tries to talk to others and make friends, but sometimes people are cautious to talk to him or try to avoid him altogether and he doesn't know why. Since he wants to find a wife, he tries to talk to girls sometimes, and that's hard for anyone, but can have another layer of difficulty for CJ. Another line that stuck with me was when a girl at school told some guys that Sam wasn't "all there." This clearly upsets Sam and he tries to explain it to his dad "I AM all there, I am…"
Doug and Carlton
Doug is Sam's dad. The show starts with Doug's struggles to keep up with his son, but we see Sam come to rely on him more as he's navigating dating. Doug seems very out of place when it comes to Sam and his life. He wants to be close to him like he was with his dad, but they don't have any common interests. Plus, Sam's bluntness seems to keep him out of his life. Even when Doug went to a support group with his wife, he seemed to stumble over the right things to say and how to express what he's feeling. His love for Sam is called into question sometimes, but you can tell that he truly cares for him. As Sam opens up to him about dating you can see his excitement in making a connection and being relied on by his son. My dad, Carlton, is currently working on the best way to connect with his son. He has always been there to play basketball with him, teaching him how to swim and other activities. As he's getting older, it's getting harder for my dad to explain certain things to him. How to shoot a ball is easy, how to talk to a girl…not so much, but at least he's trying. And sometimes CJ doesn't want his help and making sure to help him without actually "helping" can be tricky for my dad. Both dads want to be there for their sons, and as their kids grow up the way they support them needs to change. But the fathers weren't the only ones trying to navigate their son growing up.
Elsa and Ramona
Elsa is Sam's mother. She has devoted her life to taking care of her son as well as her whole family. She has a routine for each and every situation. She goes to great lengths to make sure that Sam is accommodated in any new or difficult situation. However, she has a hard time stepping back/readjusting her role when Sam starts relying on her less. There's even a point where the Doug urges her desperately to get a hobby. Unfortunately, she doesn't always handle these changes well. My mom Ramona is right there too. She has taken care of us all of our lives and has been very involved with everything we've done. However, all of her kids are in their twenties now. So now we're a bit more independent and are able to do some things on our own. Out of the three of us, CJ wants to be independent the most. It is definitely hard for my mom to just let him do everything on his own. We've all told her that she should try to take a step back and let him do a few things. That's not an easy thing for her to do and obviously, there are still things that he will need some help with, but there needs to be some way to let him grow up and learn. Both moms have a hard time coming to terms with their children growing up, but know it's happening and need to work through it.
Casey and Amber and Asia
Casey is Sam's younger sister. She will give him a hard time and mess around with him like siblings tend to do, but she makes sure that no one makes fun of or hurts her brother. Sam doesn't always get Casey, but he knows that's how she communicates with him in her own way. Casey may initially come across as rough around the edges, but you see that she puts a lot of thought into her role as his sister. She is even hesitant to pursue opportunities for herself based on the fact that she wouldn't be able to help Sam as easily she presently can. Even though she's younger, she takes on a lot of responsibility along with her mom and dad. My sister and I can definitely relate to Casey. We will give CJ a hard time, we're his big sisters it comes in the job description. But if I catch anybody trying to talk about or make fun of my brother, I WILL get with you! We also get frustrated with him sometimes because he's our baby brother and we fight, and sometimes we don't always have patience with him. Plus, now that we're older we are trying to figure out what we will do next with our lives, and we take into account what that means for CJ and being there for him. There's a lot to think about with everything we do in life, we have our own lives but need to be there for our brother while he also tries to have his own life. That balance is something all three sisters are working towards figuring out.
Obviously, any family with this many personalities will have some conflicts, both on TV and real life. You don't always see eye to eye, you overstep boundaries, and good intentions can be misunderstood. When those things happened in the Gardner family, each member had a different way of responding to the drama. A lot of times their responses lead to more drama and fallouts. The Meriwethers have their fair share of drama too, but we have another option in dealing with our anger and frustrations. We can turn to Jesus in the midst of the hard times, even when we fight or misunderstand each other. He convicts us to go back to each other and reconcile. I know sometimes we wish that the difficulties in our lives would just be removed, but sometimes they aren't and that's okay. This is my family and I love them all and all that we are. Life is hard, and when you have someone with autism or a disability in your life that can add some challenges. It can also add a lot of wonderful opportunities and fun things. If it wasn't for Cj, we probably couldn't quote any classic Disney movies verbatim like we can now. I appreciate the show Atypical, and how it sheds some light on families with members on the autistic spectrum and how they navigate life. For our family, as CJ continues to grow and strives towards his goals of independence, we will support him as a family. Family has its ups and downs but we are doing life, with a little bit of help from each other and a whole lot of help from Jesus!
Sam and CJ
Sam is high functioning on the spectrum of autism. He goes to a therapist. He wears noise canceling headphones to school so that the noise levels don't bother him. He speaks bluntly about everything he sees, researches new things that interest him and has a deep love of penguins and Antarctica. The show follows Sam's desire to start dating and navigating what that looks like for someone like him. He struggles with picking up social cues, heartbreak and what is and isn't okay to do when pursuing someone of interest. "People think I don't know when they're making fun of me, but I do I just don't know why, and sometimes that makes it worse." This line really stuck with me, because people often look at people with autism and think they're strange. They may even make fun of their behavior in certain situations. It's easy for others to look and judge or maybe even laugh, but wouldn't it be easier to try being patient or understanding of the person? I feel that way sometimes with my brother and when people see him or interact with him. His name is Carlton, I'm the only one who still calls him CJ. I've never called him autistic, he has never been diagnosed, but it does take him more time to process things cognitively. He doesn't always have the exact words to express what he's thinking. He will tell you what he wants though. He loves dancing and all things Disney and wants to make his own movies one day. He also wants to get married, have two kids and take care of them. He's trying to live his life as "normal" as possible, but sometimes that's hard. He might get frustrated when what he wants to say doesn't come out as quick as he wants it to. He tries to talk to others and make friends, but sometimes people are cautious to talk to him or try to avoid him altogether and he doesn't know why. Since he wants to find a wife, he tries to talk to girls sometimes, and that's hard for anyone, but can have another layer of difficulty for CJ. Another line that stuck with me was when a girl at school told some guys that Sam wasn't "all there." This clearly upsets Sam and he tries to explain it to his dad "I AM all there, I am…"
Doug and Carlton
Doug is Sam's dad. The show starts with Doug's struggles to keep up with his son, but we see Sam come to rely on him more as he's navigating dating. Doug seems very out of place when it comes to Sam and his life. He wants to be close to him like he was with his dad, but they don't have any common interests. Plus, Sam's bluntness seems to keep him out of his life. Even when Doug went to a support group with his wife, he seemed to stumble over the right things to say and how to express what he's feeling. His love for Sam is called into question sometimes, but you can tell that he truly cares for him. As Sam opens up to him about dating you can see his excitement in making a connection and being relied on by his son. My dad, Carlton, is currently working on the best way to connect with his son. He has always been there to play basketball with him, teaching him how to swim and other activities. As he's getting older, it's getting harder for my dad to explain certain things to him. How to shoot a ball is easy, how to talk to a girl…not so much, but at least he's trying. And sometimes CJ doesn't want his help and making sure to help him without actually "helping" can be tricky for my dad. Both dads want to be there for their sons, and as their kids grow up the way they support them needs to change. But the fathers weren't the only ones trying to navigate their son growing up.
Elsa and Ramona
Elsa is Sam's mother. She has devoted her life to taking care of her son as well as her whole family. She has a routine for each and every situation. She goes to great lengths to make sure that Sam is accommodated in any new or difficult situation. However, she has a hard time stepping back/readjusting her role when Sam starts relying on her less. There's even a point where the Doug urges her desperately to get a hobby. Unfortunately, she doesn't always handle these changes well. My mom Ramona is right there too. She has taken care of us all of our lives and has been very involved with everything we've done. However, all of her kids are in their twenties now. So now we're a bit more independent and are able to do some things on our own. Out of the three of us, CJ wants to be independent the most. It is definitely hard for my mom to just let him do everything on his own. We've all told her that she should try to take a step back and let him do a few things. That's not an easy thing for her to do and obviously, there are still things that he will need some help with, but there needs to be some way to let him grow up and learn. Both moms have a hard time coming to terms with their children growing up, but know it's happening and need to work through it.
Casey and Amber and Asia
Casey is Sam's younger sister. She will give him a hard time and mess around with him like siblings tend to do, but she makes sure that no one makes fun of or hurts her brother. Sam doesn't always get Casey, but he knows that's how she communicates with him in her own way. Casey may initially come across as rough around the edges, but you see that she puts a lot of thought into her role as his sister. She is even hesitant to pursue opportunities for herself based on the fact that she wouldn't be able to help Sam as easily she presently can. Even though she's younger, she takes on a lot of responsibility along with her mom and dad. My sister and I can definitely relate to Casey. We will give CJ a hard time, we're his big sisters it comes in the job description. But if I catch anybody trying to talk about or make fun of my brother, I WILL get with you! We also get frustrated with him sometimes because he's our baby brother and we fight, and sometimes we don't always have patience with him. Plus, now that we're older we are trying to figure out what we will do next with our lives, and we take into account what that means for CJ and being there for him. There's a lot to think about with everything we do in life, we have our own lives but need to be there for our brother while he also tries to have his own life. That balance is something all three sisters are working towards figuring out.
Obviously, any family with this many personalities will have some conflicts, both on TV and real life. You don't always see eye to eye, you overstep boundaries, and good intentions can be misunderstood. When those things happened in the Gardner family, each member had a different way of responding to the drama. A lot of times their responses lead to more drama and fallouts. The Meriwethers have their fair share of drama too, but we have another option in dealing with our anger and frustrations. We can turn to Jesus in the midst of the hard times, even when we fight or misunderstand each other. He convicts us to go back to each other and reconcile. I know sometimes we wish that the difficulties in our lives would just be removed, but sometimes they aren't and that's okay. This is my family and I love them all and all that we are. Life is hard, and when you have someone with autism or a disability in your life that can add some challenges. It can also add a lot of wonderful opportunities and fun things. If it wasn't for Cj, we probably couldn't quote any classic Disney movies verbatim like we can now. I appreciate the show Atypical, and how it sheds some light on families with members on the autistic spectrum and how they navigate life. For our family, as CJ continues to grow and strives towards his goals of independence, we will support him as a family. Family has its ups and downs but we are doing life, with a little bit of help from each other and a whole lot of help from Jesus!
Comments
Post a Comment