Empathy on Empty

Empathy on Empty

         I'm sure we've known someone that we would say they care too much, and not ironically. I have heard this from friends before and sometimes my family. I'm not saying this in a way to brag that I am just a wonderful and caring person. In reality, most the time they say this as a warning. That I may over-concern myself with others and their feelings while neglecting of my own. I don't necessarily think that's wrong. I can get myself work up over other's thoughts and feelings. However, I think that there is a certain difference between overextending yourself with worry and being emotionally available and caring for others.

         Empathy is the ability to understand and share other's feelings. I think most people would say they have empathy because it's a way we show others that we care and we are here for them. However, I think as time has moved forward and seems like things are getting worse, the human capacity for empathy, or evening caring, is shrinking. I was talking to a coworker today about some bad news a friend of hers just received. While she was sad to hear what happened, she came across as fed up when sharing this with me. "You try to warn people, to get them do the right thing and they still do whatever they want. I'm done trying to help, I'm over it." That really struck me as sad. She really wasn't able to fully share her friend's sadness because of her own frustrations with why the sad thing happened. I think we can all reach a point of frustration. After seeing the same thing happen again and again, after trying to comfort and advise, after seeing no change whatsoever, a switch is flipped. Suddenly, it's harder to understand why something happened and it's harder to share the emotions of those affected by it. I have definitely been there myself. I was so frustrated with watching the same things happen again and tired of being told I need to be understanding and patient. In my opinion, the person involved needed to change and stop harming those around them with their behavior. Sometimes it seems easier to stop caring, or at least stop putting your two cents into a situation. However, I think that not entirely true.

         There are definitely times when, despite your best efforts, someone is still going to do what they want. I think in those situations, you shouldn't burden yourself with their decision. You should not blame yourself for what's happening, it isn't your fault. However, you shouldn't cast aside that person or situation either. If you refuse to open up to people and their circumstances, you aren't doing anyone any favors. You're burning bridges and you are isolating yourself from others. It is important for us as Christians, we need to comfort one another and support each other, even when it's hard. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." We are called to be compassionate as God has been to us. Even when we mess up He loves us. We as His children should strive to do the same. It may be hard, but never stop opening up and being empathetic to others.