Anyway

Anyway

The end of last month was not a fun time for me. I was really in a place of hurt, and it was debilitating. It’s not the first time I felt this way though. Sometimes when life gets rough or I feel lost or hopeless, I want to shut down. I really don’t want to move. I don’t want to do anything. It’s extremely hard to motivate me to do anything I should/need to do. When I feel this low, it’s really hard to motivate myself to go to church. When I feel bad, the last thing I want to do is go into a building full of happy-go-lucky people that have hearts full of joy and can lift their hands in uninhibited praise. That’s what I thought anyway. I was afraid I would bring the atmosphere down, or the feelings would just beat me down more. So sometimes on days like that, I don’t go anywhere. I lie in my bed and just wallow a bit. However, in this particular instance, my mom had already decided that we were going to a woman’s conference. It was out of town too, so there was no way I could back out. I can’t say I was 100% at that time, but I went anyway. We showed up a little late for it, but just in time to catch the end of worship. Everyone at that point was super hyped and standing up. I honestly just wanted to sit down and just listen. I think God knew that though, and through my mother’s urging, He got me on my feet. I honestly am thankful for that. It obviously took some time, but I did stop worrying about what was hurting me and started to focus on being in the presence of the Lord. When I felt my thoughts drifting, I would just sing anyway. If I felt the sadness push at me, I would raise my hands anyway. I wasn’t really expecting much to come from it, but at least I was trying to love God and be in community in the midst of my sadness. And as He is one to do, God showed up. You know those moments when you go to church and the sermon is either partly or entirely applicable to your situation? Well, God had a few choice words for me at this conference, and I would’ve missed them if I had followed my thought to avoid the “trouble” of going. I think that has happened every time I’ve felt really down. There have definitely been a few days I didn’t get up and go to church or a worship service. When I did go, however, God had something waiting there for me to help me. He even takes care of the little things I worry about. I was trying to find a good verse to go with this post, and when I pulled up BibleGateway.com Psalm 119:143 was the verse of the day. “Trouble and anguish have found me out, but your commandments are my delight.” I think that pretty much sums up what I’ve realized. There are definitely going to be moments of trouble in life and they can certainly bring you to a low point. However, we should not avoid the commands of God and should worship Him or go to church or read your daily verse anyway. It can only help whatever you are going through. He knows better than anyone what that is and exactly what you need to hear. And in that obedience, you will find delight and joy.