Church Etiquette

            I have been in the church pretty much as long as I’ve been alive. I’ve also moved a lot, so I’ve seen several different types of churches, services, etc. When you’re a part of an institution like a church as long as that, you see the pros and cons of how things operate. My family has this thing where we make little inside jokes about some of these things. A worship leader getting extra into his performance. An elaborate production accompanying the sermon. An offering call that comes across a little intense. We typically have a good laugh at these. There are also instances that are less comical and a bit more concerning.

            These are things within the serving team of churches that seem questionable. Care pastors that don’t seem too caring. Workers in charge of volunteer management letting eager volunteers slip through the cracks. There are certain behaviors and mannerisms that don’t reflex the values the church proclaims to have. Instead of an open, welcoming “come as you are environment”, the church can come across as cold or exclusive. Sure, when you first come in the door there are smiling faces and coffee is out and available. It’s a nice feeling. When you get into the sanctuary, things can feel a little different. Everyone is talking to each other and seem to know each other rather well. They’re in their own routine. It is a problem on the part of the churchgoers when someone coming in feels like they are on the outside looking in. Last week I had to take a hard look at my responsibility in that situation.

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            Last Sunday was like any other Sunday for me. I got to church, I sat on the same side, as usual, but a couple rows back. I was with my mom, so in my mind, I already had a neighbor to turn to and to shake hands with. Church had already started, but I noticed someone slip into my row and sit about three or four seats away from me. He seemed like he might’ve been new or maybe waiting on someone, given how much he was looking around and at his phone. I saw him, and that’s all I did. When the pastor said to greet your neighbor, I just shook my mom’s hand. When they said to high five somebody before sitting down, I didn’t even look his way. I’ve gotten into the mindset that if someone initiated that kind of thing with me I would do it. Usually, I didn’t think too much of this behavior I developed, but this time it really bothered me. I could see this guy out of the corner of my eye. Looking a little out of place, checking his phone and by himself. It wouldn’t have taken a lot on my part to say hi, to make him feel a bit more welcomed. But I did nothing, and in the middle of praise and worship he got up and left. I don’t know if he met a friend in the lobby, or if he just went to a different aisle where whoever he was looking for was. He could’ve also just left the church altogether, possibly from feeling unwelcomed. I couldn’t ignore that I had a hand in that. I may be overthinking it, but it did make me reevaluate my complacency. I should not be so accustomed to going to church that I become unwelcoming. I can’t condemn the care pastors for not welcoming me when I am a member of the church, and more importantly, a member of the body of Christ, and I can’t get myself to talk to someone four seats over. I know when you been a part of something for so long, you can get used to doing things a certain way. But there should not be a routine to church. It should not be so familiar that we become unwelcoming to anyone who isn’t usually in our row. I’m going to work on truly showing God’s love in the house of God. If I can’t succeed there, then how can I expect to do so in the other areas of my life?